Apparently, there is (or with a healthy imagination CAN be) a lot more in common than you'd think between my college days and these ones of reduced-sleep parenting. Here's the pretty lil' picture: Jordan and I are in the kitchen popping popcorn for her snack day (she defiantly is bringing her copy of Las Posadas as her sharing story even though her day falls on the day they celebrate St Nicholas' Day at school). It's about 6:30pm and I'm bleary-eyed from a weekend of family bliss. Sawyer is asleep, Tom is trying to start his homework, and I'm, yet again, slaving over a hot stove. With a pot full of oil and popcorn kernels that makes a mindnumbing screeching sound, metal on metal, and next to me Jordan is yelling "SHAKE IT MAMA! SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE IT! GO, HEATHER, GO! SHAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" It's pot number two or three of popcorn, and it was likely a mistake for me to tell her that you have to shake it or the kernels will burn. With her fluid change between calling me mama or Heather, if I close my eyes and give in to the rhythmic screeching of metal on metal and imagine some other college band instead of Elvis or Perry Como or whatever CD is still on playing harmonious holiday family shmaltz, and think her little girl voice simply belongs to a horribly repressed but fastidiously drunk 20 year old and is harmonized by the low bass of a shitload of frat brothers, my life is so, so much different. SHAKE IT, HEATHER, SHAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Jordan is unstoppable, and amazing. The constant conversation that punctuates my life (like a poorly conceived ad campaign for Constant Comment Tea) with this almost four year old is occasionally punctuated by the rareness of utter silence in the brief pauses after she has, yet again, done something amazing. Tom was doing gymnastics/yoga with her while I was on a run and she picked up a piece of paper and pencil and decided to write down the list of what they were doing with absolutely no coaching or spelling from Tom: Leg Lifts: L (and the L's are sweetly inverted, mind you) Lft. Next line, Singing Bridge: Sng Brij. Next Line, Summersault: Sumrsot. Unbelievable. Not yet 4. Which is well exemplified in her temper tantrums of late, and somewhat indistinguishable from her teen years with some of the snottiness that has also emerged, but at least she's smart, dammit.
Sawyer and I had the great privilege of watching Tom teach a first grade class today. The lunchroom lady pulled me aside at the beginning - the one who has been at the school in one position or another for 20 years and since the lunchroom shares space with the gym has watched him teach. "I have never, NEVER, seen anyone teach PE much less substitute teach anything like he does." A man in his element, certainly. It was parachute day, and Sawyer (with his requisite shiner) was rapt with these first graders - any school campus is pretty much the promised land for that guy. Add in a few rubber balls and he's exploding with joy. Tom had these kids moving from the first moment they were in, focused, excited, motivated - truly doing the impossible. The man IS a parachute - with or without the miles of silk fabric as the centerpiece for a class.
OK, so it's irritating to talk about how great they all are, I know. But they are. Ask me again when Sawyer or Jordan have been up all night and the house is a mess and I haven't been on a run for four days. THEN try screaming at me to SHAKE IT and we'll see what happens. But for now, I'll keep it all.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Since I've been home from China, I feel like I've been living closer to life - as though a layer of my skin has been peeled away, a lens over my eyes removed, the filter on my ears turned down. My gratitude for and appreciation of - well, everything - has been heightened.
Good friends of ours - people I love and admire and have long thought would be fabulous parents - are in the middle of adopting a baby boy domestically. By American adoption standards, he is in ridiculously good health - no drug or alcohol addictions or issues, no brain damage or apparent disability, and as for his physical health, he was seven weeks preemie and just went through his second hernia surgery, but that's practically nothing considering what's common out there. I think over and over again of the twelve little girls I had the absolute joy of being with as they transitioned initially to their new families, of their amazing great health - and being home I think about how deep it goes into the culture they came from. Part of the rawness that I've been experiencing and feeling comes from seeing once more the country I live in - and this is in no way a diss on the USA. But, honestly, we've got to try for some persective on the place we live - we've got to see it for all it's good and bad so we can strive to make it better.
Nagging at the back of my brain have been comments posted on web sites and message boards by adopting American families grousing about the food in China, the cleanliness, the difficulties of conversing while there. And a huge voice in me is screaming "Well, wake up! It's China! You're not going to another state, you are a GUEST in another country - a country generous and humble enough to allow you to come in and adopt one of their beloved citizens - and having been there, I do know and believe with all my heart that these children who are being adopted are absolutely beloved.
I see my friends going the domestic adoption route struggling with delay after delay based on budget cuts in our California counties, faced with absolute challenges to their adoption in the final moments because of the freedom and rights we assign to our citizens - no matter that the father is having difficulty keeping his court dates and shuffling his various legal issues in order to deal with this issue of parenthood which is riding on his breezy whims - one day, yes, I'm the boy's father, the next no, I've got too much shit to deal with - and a mother who functions at the level of an 8 year old. As my friends sat in the waiting room of the hospital while the child that has been their son in their hearts from the moment his picture first landed in their laps two months ago had surgery, the birth mother burst through the doors, she'd been informed of the surgery as per her parental rights - she'd had to sign papers since parental rights hadn't been terminated - a strike in one government office or another had delayed paperwork. Not only were my friends dealing with the anguish and stress of their baby in surgery, but dealing with this adult child as well. The compassion and generosity they've demonstrated through this process has floored me. I visit them, bring them clothes, toys, advice, laughter, tears. I drink their tea or coffee and hold their son and am surprised that they sleep (even as little as they do) since nothing is definite - yet. This son that is theirs in all the ways that matters is not theirs yet legally. The parents adopting the Chinese babies speak about the "red string" connecting them to their child. And that small thread seems so much stronger than the legal strings that tie this child to his true parents.
I thank China for the lack of drug abuse, for the lack of alcohol abuse and for the simple fact that drinking there is simply not a priority, so Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Disorder are kept far at bay without even trying. I am no fool, I know that it's not necessarily a sense of honor or duty or cultural superiority that dictates this as much as the fact that it's simply a less developed country, that it's such a different culture, on such a different timeline. But it's ok to be grateful for those things, for the fact that it means that they do live a healthier lifestyle - eat a healthier diet, birth fewer babies with these specific issues.
My husband has been taking a class in special education, has been blown away in his substitute teaching by the scope of challenges our students - mainstream and otherwise - are dealing with because of the variety of options in our society. Today he said to me, "Thank you for taking care of yourself when you were pregnant - and your whole life before that. Thank you for taking your vitamins, for eating right, for giving birth healthily to our children, because I have seen what happens if you don't."
My breath catches in my chest thinking about my friends and about thier adoption they are waiting so patiently to complete. All conscious parenting blows me away, but adoption has lately been so in the forefront of my mind. You parents are amazing. OK, jumping off the philosphical soap box now.
Good friends of ours - people I love and admire and have long thought would be fabulous parents - are in the middle of adopting a baby boy domestically. By American adoption standards, he is in ridiculously good health - no drug or alcohol addictions or issues, no brain damage or apparent disability, and as for his physical health, he was seven weeks preemie and just went through his second hernia surgery, but that's practically nothing considering what's common out there. I think over and over again of the twelve little girls I had the absolute joy of being with as they transitioned initially to their new families, of their amazing great health - and being home I think about how deep it goes into the culture they came from. Part of the rawness that I've been experiencing and feeling comes from seeing once more the country I live in - and this is in no way a diss on the USA. But, honestly, we've got to try for some persective on the place we live - we've got to see it for all it's good and bad so we can strive to make it better.
Nagging at the back of my brain have been comments posted on web sites and message boards by adopting American families grousing about the food in China, the cleanliness, the difficulties of conversing while there. And a huge voice in me is screaming "Well, wake up! It's China! You're not going to another state, you are a GUEST in another country - a country generous and humble enough to allow you to come in and adopt one of their beloved citizens - and having been there, I do know and believe with all my heart that these children who are being adopted are absolutely beloved.
I see my friends going the domestic adoption route struggling with delay after delay based on budget cuts in our California counties, faced with absolute challenges to their adoption in the final moments because of the freedom and rights we assign to our citizens - no matter that the father is having difficulty keeping his court dates and shuffling his various legal issues in order to deal with this issue of parenthood which is riding on his breezy whims - one day, yes, I'm the boy's father, the next no, I've got too much shit to deal with - and a mother who functions at the level of an 8 year old. As my friends sat in the waiting room of the hospital while the child that has been their son in their hearts from the moment his picture first landed in their laps two months ago had surgery, the birth mother burst through the doors, she'd been informed of the surgery as per her parental rights - she'd had to sign papers since parental rights hadn't been terminated - a strike in one government office or another had delayed paperwork. Not only were my friends dealing with the anguish and stress of their baby in surgery, but dealing with this adult child as well. The compassion and generosity they've demonstrated through this process has floored me. I visit them, bring them clothes, toys, advice, laughter, tears. I drink their tea or coffee and hold their son and am surprised that they sleep (even as little as they do) since nothing is definite - yet. This son that is theirs in all the ways that matters is not theirs yet legally. The parents adopting the Chinese babies speak about the "red string" connecting them to their child. And that small thread seems so much stronger than the legal strings that tie this child to his true parents.
I thank China for the lack of drug abuse, for the lack of alcohol abuse and for the simple fact that drinking there is simply not a priority, so Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Disorder are kept far at bay without even trying. I am no fool, I know that it's not necessarily a sense of honor or duty or cultural superiority that dictates this as much as the fact that it's simply a less developed country, that it's such a different culture, on such a different timeline. But it's ok to be grateful for those things, for the fact that it means that they do live a healthier lifestyle - eat a healthier diet, birth fewer babies with these specific issues.
My husband has been taking a class in special education, has been blown away in his substitute teaching by the scope of challenges our students - mainstream and otherwise - are dealing with because of the variety of options in our society. Today he said to me, "Thank you for taking care of yourself when you were pregnant - and your whole life before that. Thank you for taking your vitamins, for eating right, for giving birth healthily to our children, because I have seen what happens if you don't."
My breath catches in my chest thinking about my friends and about thier adoption they are waiting so patiently to complete. All conscious parenting blows me away, but adoption has lately been so in the forefront of my mind. You parents are amazing. OK, jumping off the philosphical soap box now.
Friday, September 29, 2006
We made it! Our last days in Guangshou were fairly uneventful - dave
for the "Swear Ceremony" at the US Consukate - the reason we were in
Guangzhou. The bus picked us up at the hotel and we all boarded, along
with a group that had adopted from aother province - people we'd been
tourists with in Beijing, actually, and a few families we'd flown to
China with originally. Our guide gave us detailed instructions on what
would happen the next day with heading to the hotel, passed out copies
of the adoption certificate, and talked us through the upcoming
ceremony. The otehr group was in awe of how organized, efficient, and
clear our guide was - we were so lucky. At the consulate, we passed
the copy-cat Starbucks in the lobby, and headed up four flight of
stairs, through a security checkpoint, and into a glass-walled waiting
room. The babies were all well behaved, and there must have been forty
of them with hteir new families. The swear ceremony is pretty simple -
the gentleman from the consulate asks the group to stand, and the
parents raise their hands and swear that through the adoption
proceedings, teh answers and information they have given have been
true. The babies do not, at this point become US citizens - that
happens when they cross through the airport checkpoint (or a bit
after, depending on their type of visa which is dependant on whether
both parents were present or not at the ceremony in China), but it was
still an emotional experience - the last China hurdle to leap before
coming home - in fact, two of the families in our group headed to the
airport immediately afterwards. I cheered and yelled loudly enough for
all of us at teh swear ceremony, so you can feel duly represented, and
of course, I had tears in my eyes.
Afterwards, there was a mad dash for the restroom fo diaper changing,
and a flurry of bottle-making in the room, and we were back down the
escalators and waiting for the bus in front, when Veronica gave the
group copies of the red couch picture - it has become tradition in the
White Swan hotel that each group take a group picture of the babies
sitting on a red couch in ine of the lobbies - a hysterical
experience. The parents were directed to put their babies on the couch
(each dressed in a gorgeous chinese outfit, of course), and then to
run quickly out of the frame. Which left 12 babies alternately crying,
smiling, pulling hair or clothes, falling into each other, attempting
to wiggle off the couch, or staring confusedly at the mad group of
camera-wielding parents oohing and aahing before them. Then the
families all got in a group picture infront of the lobby waterfall
(this was a nice hotel), and that was lovely, too. So the pictures
were a lovely gesture from our guide, and it felt like the beginning
of the going home process from there. We came back to the hotel and
headed out for a last shopping session before packing our bags.
Guangzhou is sort of like a large, slightly more formal flea market,
with store after store selling hte same bags, shirts, dresses, toys,
art, etc. There are some wonderful things, and a lot of repetition.
Since China is where most everything is made, the main attraction at
these stores was baby girl clothes - seconds, ostly, of fashions
intended for teh Gap, Gymboree, or any dozen other American or
European brands. Some darling stuff - Jordan didn't get anything as
she has an incredible closet full of beautiful things from her cousin,
her grandparents, and her aunts and uncles. I did get her gorgeous
Chinese silk outfits which she is compltely unimpressed by ("Did you
get me anything else, Mama?") We had a last dinner at an
American/Chinese place that has a soup Cerys loves, and is a great
place to see the families we'd met at the beginning but gone to
separate provinces from. A nice way to end the trip, before returning
to the hotel to pack. Becky bought another suitcase; we probably could
have made it back without it, but it was nice to not worry. Cerys will
be very well dressed in Chinese and American clothes, and Becky has
wonderful taste in art and jewelry - it is a tradition to buy the
girls Chinese presents for each birthay from 1-18, and I think Becky
got there with some lovely things.
We didn't sleep much that night, Becky tried to help Cerys stop
coughing at 4:15, but she never went back to sleep before our 5 am
wakeup call. It was straight to teh airport, and off on our
firstflight to Hong Kong - a short one. In Hong Kong we ran for the
transfer desk all the way across the airport, adn then beelined for
Starbucks. It was on the US bound flights that impromptu check
stations were set up to get all the gels, creams, liquids out of
people's bags - I wish the orphanages were on the receiving end of the
formula, diaper cream, hand sanitizer, juice, babyfood, and water taht
was thrown out. Ah, well, all in the name of safety, and who doesn't
want that?
Becky had bought a seat for cerys and so we were relatively
comfortable, except for the fact taht the flight attendants seemed to
have it out for Becky and Cerys and slammed into their seat nearly
everfy time they came by with a cart (which, granted, was a lot less
on this flight - a marked decrease in customer service quality on the
US bound flight). Cerys did pretty well, didn't sleep long enought or
continually enough, but was mostly happy. Becky didn't watch any
movies or read more than half a page of her book - in short, she's the
parent of an infant/toddler now! We landed at 9, crossed through our
checkpoint with decidedly too little fanfare - no brass abnd awaiting
the arrival of our newest citizen - and were in our car by 10:30
heading home.
I got huge hugs and kisses from Jordan at school, felt my malnourished
heart swelling in my chest. At home, Sawyer wanted nothing to do with
me, screamed and cried when I took him from TOm's arms! I didn't mind,
I had to hold him anyway,a nd he seems to love me again though Tom is
the clear favorite - ah, well! They both seemed so huge to me, so
blond after the Chinese babies, and they have doted on Cerys (although
those two slept from 9pm-3pm the first day/night!). We took them to In
N Out last night, and Cerys LOVED it - ate more double double than
anything esle she's touched - that's what she's been waiting for.
wait'll she gets a taste of Texas BBQ!
Sawyer has swiped a few toys from Cerys and beaned her in the head
with a car, but they seem to like each other pretty well, and Cerys is
quieted in the dreaded car seat by Jordan's singing. It is a joy to
see them all together, adn I can only imagine how Sammy and Jack will
respond - too sweet! She is already family, and though I thought I'd
marvel at the differences between tehm physically, I don't- we lookk
for their emotions and responses to one another, and love that. It is
unexplainable, how a family is so quickly built and expanded - from
the look of love in Jordan's eyes when seeing her brother for thei
first time, to the moment Becky and Cerys met - just like when both
our kids were born I saw an immediate belonging in TOm's eyes.Pretty
astounding.
Becky an Cerys will go to TX tomorrow and begin that chapter of their
life together. They are quite an inseperable pair, so clearly a family
already.
Well, I'm off to clean, do laundry, get ready to dole out more kisses
and hugs to my kids while they'll still let me. Hope I get to go on
another trip soon so I can write again about another adventure
overseas!
LOVE YOU ALL,
H
for the "Swear Ceremony" at the US Consukate - the reason we were in
Guangzhou. The bus picked us up at the hotel and we all boarded, along
with a group that had adopted from aother province - people we'd been
tourists with in Beijing, actually, and a few families we'd flown to
China with originally. Our guide gave us detailed instructions on what
would happen the next day with heading to the hotel, passed out copies
of the adoption certificate, and talked us through the upcoming
ceremony. The otehr group was in awe of how organized, efficient, and
clear our guide was - we were so lucky. At the consulate, we passed
the copy-cat Starbucks in the lobby, and headed up four flight of
stairs, through a security checkpoint, and into a glass-walled waiting
room. The babies were all well behaved, and there must have been forty
of them with hteir new families. The swear ceremony is pretty simple -
the gentleman from the consulate asks the group to stand, and the
parents raise their hands and swear that through the adoption
proceedings, teh answers and information they have given have been
true. The babies do not, at this point become US citizens - that
happens when they cross through the airport checkpoint (or a bit
after, depending on their type of visa which is dependant on whether
both parents were present or not at the ceremony in China), but it was
still an emotional experience - the last China hurdle to leap before
coming home - in fact, two of the families in our group headed to the
airport immediately afterwards. I cheered and yelled loudly enough for
all of us at teh swear ceremony, so you can feel duly represented, and
of course, I had tears in my eyes.
Afterwards, there was a mad dash for the restroom fo diaper changing,
and a flurry of bottle-making in the room, and we were back down the
escalators and waiting for the bus in front, when Veronica gave the
group copies of the red couch picture - it has become tradition in the
White Swan hotel that each group take a group picture of the babies
sitting on a red couch in ine of the lobbies - a hysterical
experience. The parents were directed to put their babies on the couch
(each dressed in a gorgeous chinese outfit, of course), and then to
run quickly out of the frame. Which left 12 babies alternately crying,
smiling, pulling hair or clothes, falling into each other, attempting
to wiggle off the couch, or staring confusedly at the mad group of
camera-wielding parents oohing and aahing before them. Then the
families all got in a group picture infront of the lobby waterfall
(this was a nice hotel), and that was lovely, too. So the pictures
were a lovely gesture from our guide, and it felt like the beginning
of the going home process from there. We came back to the hotel and
headed out for a last shopping session before packing our bags.
Guangzhou is sort of like a large, slightly more formal flea market,
with store after store selling hte same bags, shirts, dresses, toys,
art, etc. There are some wonderful things, and a lot of repetition.
Since China is where most everything is made, the main attraction at
these stores was baby girl clothes - seconds, ostly, of fashions
intended for teh Gap, Gymboree, or any dozen other American or
European brands. Some darling stuff - Jordan didn't get anything as
she has an incredible closet full of beautiful things from her cousin,
her grandparents, and her aunts and uncles. I did get her gorgeous
Chinese silk outfits which she is compltely unimpressed by ("Did you
get me anything else, Mama?") We had a last dinner at an
American/Chinese place that has a soup Cerys loves, and is a great
place to see the families we'd met at the beginning but gone to
separate provinces from. A nice way to end the trip, before returning
to the hotel to pack. Becky bought another suitcase; we probably could
have made it back without it, but it was nice to not worry. Cerys will
be very well dressed in Chinese and American clothes, and Becky has
wonderful taste in art and jewelry - it is a tradition to buy the
girls Chinese presents for each birthay from 1-18, and I think Becky
got there with some lovely things.
We didn't sleep much that night, Becky tried to help Cerys stop
coughing at 4:15, but she never went back to sleep before our 5 am
wakeup call. It was straight to teh airport, and off on our
firstflight to Hong Kong - a short one. In Hong Kong we ran for the
transfer desk all the way across the airport, adn then beelined for
Starbucks. It was on the US bound flights that impromptu check
stations were set up to get all the gels, creams, liquids out of
people's bags - I wish the orphanages were on the receiving end of the
formula, diaper cream, hand sanitizer, juice, babyfood, and water taht
was thrown out. Ah, well, all in the name of safety, and who doesn't
want that?
Becky had bought a seat for cerys and so we were relatively
comfortable, except for the fact taht the flight attendants seemed to
have it out for Becky and Cerys and slammed into their seat nearly
everfy time they came by with a cart (which, granted, was a lot less
on this flight - a marked decrease in customer service quality on the
US bound flight). Cerys did pretty well, didn't sleep long enought or
continually enough, but was mostly happy. Becky didn't watch any
movies or read more than half a page of her book - in short, she's the
parent of an infant/toddler now! We landed at 9, crossed through our
checkpoint with decidedly too little fanfare - no brass abnd awaiting
the arrival of our newest citizen - and were in our car by 10:30
heading home.
I got huge hugs and kisses from Jordan at school, felt my malnourished
heart swelling in my chest. At home, Sawyer wanted nothing to do with
me, screamed and cried when I took him from TOm's arms! I didn't mind,
I had to hold him anyway,a nd he seems to love me again though Tom is
the clear favorite - ah, well! They both seemed so huge to me, so
blond after the Chinese babies, and they have doted on Cerys (although
those two slept from 9pm-3pm the first day/night!). We took them to In
N Out last night, and Cerys LOVED it - ate more double double than
anything esle she's touched - that's what she's been waiting for.
wait'll she gets a taste of Texas BBQ!
Sawyer has swiped a few toys from Cerys and beaned her in the head
with a car, but they seem to like each other pretty well, and Cerys is
quieted in the dreaded car seat by Jordan's singing. It is a joy to
see them all together, adn I can only imagine how Sammy and Jack will
respond - too sweet! She is already family, and though I thought I'd
marvel at the differences between tehm physically, I don't- we lookk
for their emotions and responses to one another, and love that. It is
unexplainable, how a family is so quickly built and expanded - from
the look of love in Jordan's eyes when seeing her brother for thei
first time, to the moment Becky and Cerys met - just like when both
our kids were born I saw an immediate belonging in TOm's eyes.Pretty
astounding.
Becky an Cerys will go to TX tomorrow and begin that chapter of their
life together. They are quite an inseperable pair, so clearly a family
already.
Well, I'm off to clean, do laundry, get ready to dole out more kisses
and hugs to my kids while they'll still let me. Hope I get to go on
another trip soon so I can write again about another adventure
overseas!
LOVE YOU ALL,
H
No matter what country you're in, poop is poop. Cerys has familiarized us much more than necessary with her particular brand. We started the day out with the beautiful little princess baptising her mom with the mid-diaper change blast. I quite enjoyed regaling hte rest of the group with the fine details of the story. Later that afternoon when we were waling through the very fancy and nice jade store, I was holding my delicate little flower of a niece when suddenly I felt something warm running down the front of my skirt, and looked down to see that particular brand of newborn poop all over me, all over the floor, all in my shoe, all over my niece. And the words payback is a bitch went through my head. And out my mouth went, quite loudly, the word "Becky, Becky, Becky!" quite loudly. Once Becky and I stopped laughing, we did a fairly miraculous job of cleaning everything up. I had thought those days were over for me, but since this little princess is primarily a bottle feeder still, I get to relive those early days of parenting once again.
Probably, you're more interested in the Jade Store part of that e-mail, or are wondering how the heck our China experience is going from a cultural perspective (tho there's soemthing very telling about how people handle baby trials and tribs in every culture - for instancve, yesterday at a little European style bakery next to our hotel, a Chinese woman proceeded to change her 16 month old son on her lap on the pirch surrounded by other diners. We have yet tp see a changing station in a restroom, and rejoice when a restroom boasts regular toilets rather than the squatting pits that are ubiquitous instead). The White Swan is really and truly boot camp for parenting. It is a huge hotel, and the size and client base is most obvious at the breakfast buffet which, like our otehr two hotels, boasts a bizarre selection of AMerican, European, and CHinese cuisine. I could have, had I been so inclined, had a breakfast consisting soely of mini fried chicken wings, hot dogs, ham, sausage, carpaccio, smoked salmon, dried fish, sliced fish liver, pate, and Iknow I'm missing one or two other meats. Or french toast and deep fried cheese sticks with congee (millet porridge) with scallops. Or aged eggs in congee with smoked pork soemthing or otehr. It's random.
We visited, after breakfast, teh local FOlk Art Museum housed at the historic home of a prominent family from one of the later dynasties, learning about feng sui, warrior lore, and seeing soem of the sculpture, woodwork and so on from the later periods of Chinese history - beautiful, and again, I love the contrast of old and new China: the gorgeous gardens, replete with sculpture, bonsai trees, intricate garden details, and int he background, the skyscrapers, maybe thirty years old but stained with teh smog and exhaust of the insane traffic, laundry hanging from all available points, and evidence of the crowding of the masses of humanity rising in a tower of modern chaos. What I fidn amazing, and so rewarding is how many CHinese people we have seen at every museum, gallery, park, etc. we've been to - how in touch they stay with their culture adn history and how a part of life celebration is - right now, the mid-autumn celebration time is heating into full frenzy,a nd heading towards the moon festival where families coem together - no mater where in teh world they are - to celebrate with each otehr with feasts, the most importatn part of which is sharing moon cakes. The festicval is of course at teh full moon, adn the families all eat frm teh same moon cake, signifying the origins and unification of fmailiy.Beautiful. Most amazing is that all these Chinese people we come into contact with at these places are so interested in why these "big nose" - Europeans are holding CHinese babies (think every manner of stroller and baby bjorn and carrier ever invented). Our group has cards written with teh story of the adoption, stating teh babies name and so on - and every time the subject is broached, the Chinese people show no anger, embarrasment, nothing - only gratitude and warmth and congratulations. Becky was in tears at teh museum from the beautiful words spoken to her and sentiments expressed to her by a group of 20 or so older CHinese women - a wonderful affirmation.
After this, we went to a Buddhist temple - outside teh gates, all manner of disabled people asking for alms. OInside, a beautifully serene place, people lighting incense, honoring their ancestors, praying at altars, leaving offerings and asking fro blessings. In a gorgeous temple with three golden Buddhas on the back wall (each at least 40 feet tall) with flowers, food, adn bizarre mini towers of soda as offerings on teh tables, those who wanted knelt before a monk who blessed the babies and parents. I sat next to Cerys and Becky, holding out a picture of my beautiful babies, tears falling from my eyes with wonder, gratitude, and the ache of the distance between us. It was a powerful and intensely simple and beautiful moment. About 4 Southern baptist families from the group chose not to take part, which I thought a bit sad, but it certainly didn;t distract. No matter how it is expressed or celebrated, we all feel blessed by the wonder of parenthood! Of course, I hadn't yet been pooped on...
I know I'm forgetting to put down the things we did days predeeding, I will when I have my notebook and when a poor backpacker from Finland or somewhere isn't patiently waiting to use the only decent and decently priced somputer in all of Samian Island, Guangzhou.
Love to everyone, and thank you for adding to my feeling of being blessed in this world.
love,
H
Probably, you're more interested in the Jade Store part of that e-mail, or are wondering how the heck our China experience is going from a cultural perspective (tho there's soemthing very telling about how people handle baby trials and tribs in every culture - for instancve, yesterday at a little European style bakery next to our hotel, a Chinese woman proceeded to change her 16 month old son on her lap on the pirch surrounded by other diners. We have yet tp see a changing station in a restroom, and rejoice when a restroom boasts regular toilets rather than the squatting pits that are ubiquitous instead). The White Swan is really and truly boot camp for parenting. It is a huge hotel, and the size and client base is most obvious at the breakfast buffet which, like our otehr two hotels, boasts a bizarre selection of AMerican, European, and CHinese cuisine. I could have, had I been so inclined, had a breakfast consisting soely of mini fried chicken wings, hot dogs, ham, sausage, carpaccio, smoked salmon, dried fish, sliced fish liver, pate, and Iknow I'm missing one or two other meats. Or french toast and deep fried cheese sticks with congee (millet porridge) with scallops. Or aged eggs in congee with smoked pork soemthing or otehr. It's random.
We visited, after breakfast, teh local FOlk Art Museum housed at the historic home of a prominent family from one of the later dynasties, learning about feng sui, warrior lore, and seeing soem of the sculpture, woodwork and so on from the later periods of Chinese history - beautiful, and again, I love the contrast of old and new China: the gorgeous gardens, replete with sculpture, bonsai trees, intricate garden details, and int he background, the skyscrapers, maybe thirty years old but stained with teh smog and exhaust of the insane traffic, laundry hanging from all available points, and evidence of the crowding of the masses of humanity rising in a tower of modern chaos. What I fidn amazing, and so rewarding is how many CHinese people we have seen at every museum, gallery, park, etc. we've been to - how in touch they stay with their culture adn history and how a part of life celebration is - right now, the mid-autumn celebration time is heating into full frenzy,a nd heading towards the moon festival where families coem together - no mater where in teh world they are - to celebrate with each otehr with feasts, the most importatn part of which is sharing moon cakes. The festicval is of course at teh full moon, adn the families all eat frm teh same moon cake, signifying the origins and unification of fmailiy.Beautiful. Most amazing is that all these Chinese people we come into contact with at these places are so interested in why these "big nose" - Europeans are holding CHinese babies (think every manner of stroller and baby bjorn and carrier ever invented). Our group has cards written with teh story of the adoption, stating teh babies name and so on - and every time the subject is broached, the Chinese people show no anger, embarrasment, nothing - only gratitude and warmth and congratulations. Becky was in tears at teh museum from the beautiful words spoken to her and sentiments expressed to her by a group of 20 or so older CHinese women - a wonderful affirmation.
After this, we went to a Buddhist temple - outside teh gates, all manner of disabled people asking for alms. OInside, a beautifully serene place, people lighting incense, honoring their ancestors, praying at altars, leaving offerings and asking fro blessings. In a gorgeous temple with three golden Buddhas on the back wall (each at least 40 feet tall) with flowers, food, adn bizarre mini towers of soda as offerings on teh tables, those who wanted knelt before a monk who blessed the babies and parents. I sat next to Cerys and Becky, holding out a picture of my beautiful babies, tears falling from my eyes with wonder, gratitude, and the ache of the distance between us. It was a powerful and intensely simple and beautiful moment. About 4 Southern baptist families from the group chose not to take part, which I thought a bit sad, but it certainly didn;t distract. No matter how it is expressed or celebrated, we all feel blessed by the wonder of parenthood! Of course, I hadn't yet been pooped on...
I know I'm forgetting to put down the things we did days predeeding, I will when I have my notebook and when a poor backpacker from Finland or somewhere isn't patiently waiting to use the only decent and decently priced somputer in all of Samian Island, Guangzhou.
Love to everyone, and thank you for adding to my feeling of being blessed in this world.
love,
H
we've arrived in Guangzhou/ our final sop before bringing Cerys home - very exciting! She did well with the plane ride, slept all afternoon/ and we had a party at dinner because she finally ate more than three bites! It's the little things, says Becky!
I have lots of fun stuff to report, but I am sitting in the questionable back room of a clothes and etc. store, using a keyboard that for some reason has the letters hacked into the keys with a knife - very psycho sort of scene, so I'm not staying long - internet in Beijing was 50 cents/hour, in Changsha it was $7.50, and here at our hotel it's $18 - so a lot more difficult! THis place is free, but it's also a bit scary...
We are at the WHite Swan Hotel, also known as THe WHite Stork as it's where all the American adopting families stay as it's near the consulate. There are Chinese babies in AMerican arms all over - and the little island within hte city that we're on (the Brits built a moat around this section to keep teh CHinese out years ago, a questionable past, cetainly), is full of stores selling offf GAP and GYMBOREE seconds as well as adorable CHinese clothing, trinkets, etc. THings like food and drink are way more expensive here as well, but since we've found something Cerys will eat, we're ok.
It has been an amzing trip, and what an experience for these families to be thrown into the fir eof parenthood together. For those somewhat new parents out there who remember discussing at great length your babies every movement (and I mean EVERY KIND of movement), it's that/ full time here. SOmewhat ironically, I'm beset by a related problem but one that noone else here is likely experiencing - clogged milk ducts. Yep, kiind of bizarre - that's what i gert for being here on Sawyer's first birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAWYER! I have to sut this short now to call him and my wonderful husband and daughter - I waited in the local coffe house (they are trying to cvopy Starbucks, Pete's, Seattle's Best and every other chain coffe store all in one place - the drinks menu is hilariious and i think even sprts a matcha green tea macchiato latte freeze blend - if I'm remmbering correctly - and I'm spelling it far too clearly), but the Russian guy on the internet wouldn't get off of his questionable chat sites, and the teenage coffee house employees weren't looking for a fight, so here I am in this backroom...
OK, love to all, a longer one tomorrow, I promise! All is going well, love ot everyone!
xoxoxo
H
I have lots of fun stuff to report, but I am sitting in the questionable back room of a clothes and etc. store, using a keyboard that for some reason has the letters hacked into the keys with a knife - very psycho sort of scene, so I'm not staying long - internet in Beijing was 50 cents/hour, in Changsha it was $7.50, and here at our hotel it's $18 - so a lot more difficult! THis place is free, but it's also a bit scary...
We are at the WHite Swan Hotel, also known as THe WHite Stork as it's where all the American adopting families stay as it's near the consulate. There are Chinese babies in AMerican arms all over - and the little island within hte city that we're on (the Brits built a moat around this section to keep teh CHinese out years ago, a questionable past, cetainly), is full of stores selling offf GAP and GYMBOREE seconds as well as adorable CHinese clothing, trinkets, etc. THings like food and drink are way more expensive here as well, but since we've found something Cerys will eat, we're ok.
It has been an amzing trip, and what an experience for these families to be thrown into the fir eof parenthood together. For those somewhat new parents out there who remember discussing at great length your babies every movement (and I mean EVERY KIND of movement), it's that/ full time here. SOmewhat ironically, I'm beset by a related problem but one that noone else here is likely experiencing - clogged milk ducts. Yep, kiind of bizarre - that's what i gert for being here on Sawyer's first birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAWYER! I have to sut this short now to call him and my wonderful husband and daughter - I waited in the local coffe house (they are trying to cvopy Starbucks, Pete's, Seattle's Best and every other chain coffe store all in one place - the drinks menu is hilariious and i think even sprts a matcha green tea macchiato latte freeze blend - if I'm remmbering correctly - and I'm spelling it far too clearly), but the Russian guy on the internet wouldn't get off of his questionable chat sites, and the teenage coffee house employees weren't looking for a fight, so here I am in this backroom...
OK, love to all, a longer one tomorrow, I promise! All is going well, love ot everyone!
xoxoxo
H
It's a bizarre thing, running in a city where you can't read streetsigns, speak or understand the language, where you don't look like anyone else, and where running is pretty unsusual - especially for women. But a wonderfully bizarre thing, and I think I go a little faster, propelled by the heightened awareness and the danger inherent in not being able to ask anyone how to get back (I carried a card from the hotel). I got to see the ballroom dancers up close and personal, whirling in their colored skirts, and the early morning street vendors squatting next to baskets loaded full of fruits and vegetables from the country. One street I went up (called Business Street - seemed to be residential, go figure) had about ten couples ranging from thirties through sixties it seemed, playing badminton for exercise - a popular early morning exercise. I loved my run, tho finishing by 7 was essential because by then rush hour is nearing full swing, and i felt like I'd been a lifelong smoker by that time.
Cerys had another good night, ten full hours of sleep in her little crib next to Becky's bed, but had a harder day today, still not eating much of anything, just drinking her bottles of formula. She's still fighting off a cold and perhaps a mild ear infection and certainly just the general holy mackerel, my world has just been turned upside down malaise. But she adores her mama, has had eyes only for her since the moment they met (she'll tolerate me, but Becky is preferred). We figure it'll take a few days to process all our new germs and to get her appetite back - she's just a little slip of a thing already, we don't want her missing too many meals! After breakfast at the lobby buffet, Chinese business people elbow ot elbow with the international new parents crowd, we met for our group trip to Wal Mart. Twelve families, twelve shopping carts, nearly as many new strollers in the shopping carts, and tons of toys and walkers for the orphanage (the orphanage director said walkers was what htey needed most, so most of our group purchased one for the orphanage - I think we cleaned them out, actually). Of course, most everyone went somewhat nuts buying things for their new baby, but the only-in-China stuff, it seemed -and formula. The top floor of the Wal Mart looked pretty much like any Wal Mart, just with everything written in an entirely different language. The bottom floor was sort of food hall at Harrods meets Wal Mart - the wild assortment of fresh seafood and meats and bizarre produce in great quantities. And all of the schlocky home stuff was Chinese themed. Checkout was the same, but witnessed by plenty of people gawking at the Americans with their stuffed carts, each with a beautiful Chinese baby in a Baby Bjorn or hip carrier or stroller - we're definitely the "you'll never believe what I saw at Wal Mart" dinner time conversation in more than one CHinese home tonight!
The kiddos were pretty wiped out by the experience - lots of firsts for these babies: first time out of the orphanage, in a hotel, seeing white people, on a bus, in a restaraunt, and certainyl in Wal Mart. Only three babies accompanied us on our afternoon field trip to a local kindergarten. Becky stayed back, sleeping with Cerys, and I walked with a little less than half our group to a complex about fifteen minutes away - a private kindergarten where parents leave thier children all day or even all day and night during the work week. It was a beautiful place, lovely classrooms, attentive teachers, screaming kids. I took out my photo album to show them my blond little daughter their age, they crowded around, loving the pictures - and took plenty of pictures of them. They had a music class ready to perform for us - I'm pretty sure it was Little Bunny Foo Foo in Chinese which was, of course, adorable. Next was avisit to dance class where thses 4-6 year olds did two long dances for us - amazing the choreography they had down with just a little coaching from their teacher - and replete with displays of the splits, toes-to-ears stretches, and so on. One little boy was so anxious not to miss us in another classroom he came hightailing it out of the potty with his pants around his ankles - pretty funny. As we passed by an outdoor classroom, teh kids were making construction paper snowflakes and they gave us each a few - there was definitely a feeling of precise orchestration to the visit, that they were showing us just how wonderful life could be for these children - but it was very human as well, as any interaction with children is bound to be.
I kept kneeling down to get to their level, and they'd flock over, wanting to touch my hair, wear my sunglasses, touch my ponytail, or play mimic games with me - pretty fun. One shy little boy gave me a sweet drawing I'd watched him do. The boys were the most gregarious, but I saw most everyone staring at the little girls, trying to imagine what their girl would look like three or four years down the line - pretty sweet. It's been amazing to watch these parents fall in love with their kids and vice versa, and to see how quickly they get in tune with their babies, beginning to recognize cries of hunger versus pain versus loneliness.
On the walk back, I was drawn to an afternoon street market - bowls of live turtles and frogs and eel and fish, cages with ducks and chicken and hte women with the flashing knife and bloodied apron behind them - we were as much an attraction there as the market was to us.
Well, Cerys is back and dinner is here and she's needing some sleep and some love, so oI'm off (a lovely couple loaned us one of their two laptops for a few hours, so I'm in the room instead of on the expensive hotel computer).
love to all!
xoxox
H
Cerys had another good night, ten full hours of sleep in her little crib next to Becky's bed, but had a harder day today, still not eating much of anything, just drinking her bottles of formula. She's still fighting off a cold and perhaps a mild ear infection and certainly just the general holy mackerel, my world has just been turned upside down malaise. But she adores her mama, has had eyes only for her since the moment they met (she'll tolerate me, but Becky is preferred). We figure it'll take a few days to process all our new germs and to get her appetite back - she's just a little slip of a thing already, we don't want her missing too many meals! After breakfast at the lobby buffet, Chinese business people elbow ot elbow with the international new parents crowd, we met for our group trip to Wal Mart. Twelve families, twelve shopping carts, nearly as many new strollers in the shopping carts, and tons of toys and walkers for the orphanage (the orphanage director said walkers was what htey needed most, so most of our group purchased one for the orphanage - I think we cleaned them out, actually). Of course, most everyone went somewhat nuts buying things for their new baby, but the only-in-China stuff, it seemed -and formula. The top floor of the Wal Mart looked pretty much like any Wal Mart, just with everything written in an entirely different language. The bottom floor was sort of food hall at Harrods meets Wal Mart - the wild assortment of fresh seafood and meats and bizarre produce in great quantities. And all of the schlocky home stuff was Chinese themed. Checkout was the same, but witnessed by plenty of people gawking at the Americans with their stuffed carts, each with a beautiful Chinese baby in a Baby Bjorn or hip carrier or stroller - we're definitely the "you'll never believe what I saw at Wal Mart" dinner time conversation in more than one CHinese home tonight!
The kiddos were pretty wiped out by the experience - lots of firsts for these babies: first time out of the orphanage, in a hotel, seeing white people, on a bus, in a restaraunt, and certainyl in Wal Mart. Only three babies accompanied us on our afternoon field trip to a local kindergarten. Becky stayed back, sleeping with Cerys, and I walked with a little less than half our group to a complex about fifteen minutes away - a private kindergarten where parents leave thier children all day or even all day and night during the work week. It was a beautiful place, lovely classrooms, attentive teachers, screaming kids. I took out my photo album to show them my blond little daughter their age, they crowded around, loving the pictures - and took plenty of pictures of them. They had a music class ready to perform for us - I'm pretty sure it was Little Bunny Foo Foo in Chinese which was, of course, adorable. Next was avisit to dance class where thses 4-6 year olds did two long dances for us - amazing the choreography they had down with just a little coaching from their teacher - and replete with displays of the splits, toes-to-ears stretches, and so on. One little boy was so anxious not to miss us in another classroom he came hightailing it out of the potty with his pants around his ankles - pretty funny. As we passed by an outdoor classroom, teh kids were making construction paper snowflakes and they gave us each a few - there was definitely a feeling of precise orchestration to the visit, that they were showing us just how wonderful life could be for these children - but it was very human as well, as any interaction with children is bound to be.
I kept kneeling down to get to their level, and they'd flock over, wanting to touch my hair, wear my sunglasses, touch my ponytail, or play mimic games with me - pretty fun. One shy little boy gave me a sweet drawing I'd watched him do. The boys were the most gregarious, but I saw most everyone staring at the little girls, trying to imagine what their girl would look like three or four years down the line - pretty sweet. It's been amazing to watch these parents fall in love with their kids and vice versa, and to see how quickly they get in tune with their babies, beginning to recognize cries of hunger versus pain versus loneliness.
On the walk back, I was drawn to an afternoon street market - bowls of live turtles and frogs and eel and fish, cages with ducks and chicken and hte women with the flashing knife and bloodied apron behind them - we were as much an attraction there as the market was to us.
Well, Cerys is back and dinner is here and she's needing some sleep and some love, so oI'm off (a lovely couple loaned us one of their two laptops for a few hours, so I'm in the room instead of on the expensive hotel computer).
love to all!
xoxox
H
It's a bizarre thing, running in a city where you can't read streetsigns, speak or understand the language, where you don't look like anyone else, and where running is pretty unsusual - especially for women. But a wonderfully bizarre thing, and I think I go a little faster, propelled by the heightened awareness and the danger inherent in not being able to ask anyone how to get back (I carried a card from the hotel). I got to see the ballroom dancers up close and personal, whirling in their colored skirts, and the early morning street vendors squatting next to baskets loaded full of fruits and vegetables from the country. One street I went up (called Business Street - seemed to be residential, go figure) had about ten couples ranging from thirties through sixties it seemed, playing badminton for exercise - a popular early morning exercise. I loved my run, tho finishing by 7 was essential because by then rush hour is nearing full swing, and i felt like I'd been a lifelong smoker by that time.
Cerys had another good night, ten full hours of sleep in her little crib next to Becky's bed, but had a harder day today, still not eating much of anything, just drinking her bottles of formula. She's still fighting off a cold and perhaps a mild ear infection and certainly just the general holy mackerel, my world has just been turned upside down malaise. But she adores her mama, has had eyes only for her since the moment they met (she'll tolerate me, but Becky is preferred). We figure it'll take a few days to process all our new germs and to get her appetite back - she's just a little slip of a thing already, we don't want her missing too many meals! After breakfast at the lobby buffet, Chinese business people elbow ot elbow with the international new parents crowd, we met for our group trip to Wal Mart. Twelve families, twelve shopping carts, nearly as many new strollers in the shopping carts, and tons of toys and walkers for the orphanage (the orphanage director said walkers was what htey needed most, so most of our group purchased one for the orphanage - I think we cleaned them out, actually). Of course, most everyone went somewhat nuts buying things for their new baby, but the only-in-China stuff, it seemed -and formula. The top floor of the Wal Mart looked pretty much like any Wal Mart, just with everything written in an entirely different language. The bottom floor was sort of food hall at Harrods meets Wal Mart - the wild assortment of fresh seafood and meats and bizarre produce in great quantities. And all of the schlocky home stuff was Chinese themed. Checkout was the same, but witnessed by plenty of people gawking at the Americans with their stuffed carts, each with a beautiful Chinese baby in a Baby Bjorn or hip carrier or stroller - we're definitely the "you'll never believe what I saw at Wal Mart" dinner time conversation in more than one CHinese home tonight!
The kiddos were pretty wiped out by the experience - lots of firsts for these babies: first time out of the orphanage, in a hotel, seeing white people, on a bus, in a restaraunt, and certainyl in Wal Mart. Only three babies accompanied us on our afternoon field trip to a local kindergarten. Becky stayed back, sleeping with Cerys, and I walked with a little less than half our group to a complex about fifteen minutes away - a private kindergarten where parents leave thier children all day or even all day and night during the work week. It was a beautiful place, lovely classrooms, attentive teachers, screaming kids. I took out my photo album to show them my blond little daughter their age, they crowded around, loving the pictures - and took plenty of pictures of them. They had a music class ready to perform for us - I'm pretty sure it was Little Bunny Foo Foo in Chinese which was, of course, adorable. Next was avisit to dance class where thses 4-6 year olds did two long dances for us - amazing the choreography they had down with just a little coaching from their teacher - and replete with displays of the splits, toes-to-ears stretches, and so on. One little boy was so anxious not to miss us in another classroom he came hightailing it out of the potty with his pants around his ankles - pretty funny. As we passed by an outdoor classroom, teh kids were making construction paper snowflakes and they gave us each a few - there was definitely a feeling of precise orchestration to the visit, that they were showing us just how wonderful life could be for these children - but it was very human as well, as any interaction with children is bound to be.
I kept kneeling down to get to their level, and they'd flock over, wanting to touch my hair, wear my sunglasses, touch my ponytail, or play mimic games with me - pretty fun. One shy little boy gave me a sweet drawing I'd watched him do. The boys were the most gregarious, but I saw most everyone staring at the little girls, trying to imagine what their girl would look like three or four years down the line - pretty sweet. It's been amazing to watch these parents fall in love with their kids and vice versa, and to see how quickly they get in tune with their babies, beginning to recognize cries of hunger versus pain versus loneliness.
On the walk back, I was drawn to an afternoon street market - bowls of live turtles and frogs and eel and fish, cages with ducks and chicken and hte women with the flashing knife and bloodied apron behind them - we were as much an attraction there as the market was to us.
Well, Cerys is back and dinner is here and she's needing some sleep and some love, so oI'm off (a lovely couple loaned us one of their two laptops for a few hours, so I'm in the room instead of on the expensive hotel computer).
love to all!
xoxox
H
Cerys had another good night, ten full hours of sleep in her little crib next to Becky's bed, but had a harder day today, still not eating much of anything, just drinking her bottles of formula. She's still fighting off a cold and perhaps a mild ear infection and certainly just the general holy mackerel, my world has just been turned upside down malaise. But she adores her mama, has had eyes only for her since the moment they met (she'll tolerate me, but Becky is preferred). We figure it'll take a few days to process all our new germs and to get her appetite back - she's just a little slip of a thing already, we don't want her missing too many meals! After breakfast at the lobby buffet, Chinese business people elbow ot elbow with the international new parents crowd, we met for our group trip to Wal Mart. Twelve families, twelve shopping carts, nearly as many new strollers in the shopping carts, and tons of toys and walkers for the orphanage (the orphanage director said walkers was what htey needed most, so most of our group purchased one for the orphanage - I think we cleaned them out, actually). Of course, most everyone went somewhat nuts buying things for their new baby, but the only-in-China stuff, it seemed -and formula. The top floor of the Wal Mart looked pretty much like any Wal Mart, just with everything written in an entirely different language. The bottom floor was sort of food hall at Harrods meets Wal Mart - the wild assortment of fresh seafood and meats and bizarre produce in great quantities. And all of the schlocky home stuff was Chinese themed. Checkout was the same, but witnessed by plenty of people gawking at the Americans with their stuffed carts, each with a beautiful Chinese baby in a Baby Bjorn or hip carrier or stroller - we're definitely the "you'll never believe what I saw at Wal Mart" dinner time conversation in more than one CHinese home tonight!
The kiddos were pretty wiped out by the experience - lots of firsts for these babies: first time out of the orphanage, in a hotel, seeing white people, on a bus, in a restaraunt, and certainyl in Wal Mart. Only three babies accompanied us on our afternoon field trip to a local kindergarten. Becky stayed back, sleeping with Cerys, and I walked with a little less than half our group to a complex about fifteen minutes away - a private kindergarten where parents leave thier children all day or even all day and night during the work week. It was a beautiful place, lovely classrooms, attentive teachers, screaming kids. I took out my photo album to show them my blond little daughter their age, they crowded around, loving the pictures - and took plenty of pictures of them. They had a music class ready to perform for us - I'm pretty sure it was Little Bunny Foo Foo in Chinese which was, of course, adorable. Next was avisit to dance class where thses 4-6 year olds did two long dances for us - amazing the choreography they had down with just a little coaching from their teacher - and replete with displays of the splits, toes-to-ears stretches, and so on. One little boy was so anxious not to miss us in another classroom he came hightailing it out of the potty with his pants around his ankles - pretty funny. As we passed by an outdoor classroom, teh kids were making construction paper snowflakes and they gave us each a few - there was definitely a feeling of precise orchestration to the visit, that they were showing us just how wonderful life could be for these children - but it was very human as well, as any interaction with children is bound to be.
I kept kneeling down to get to their level, and they'd flock over, wanting to touch my hair, wear my sunglasses, touch my ponytail, or play mimic games with me - pretty fun. One shy little boy gave me a sweet drawing I'd watched him do. The boys were the most gregarious, but I saw most everyone staring at the little girls, trying to imagine what their girl would look like three or four years down the line - pretty sweet. It's been amazing to watch these parents fall in love with their kids and vice versa, and to see how quickly they get in tune with their babies, beginning to recognize cries of hunger versus pain versus loneliness.
On the walk back, I was drawn to an afternoon street market - bowls of live turtles and frogs and eel and fish, cages with ducks and chicken and hte women with the flashing knife and bloodied apron behind them - we were as much an attraction there as the market was to us.
Well, Cerys is back and dinner is here and she's needing some sleep and some love, so oI'm off (a lovely couple loaned us one of their two laptops for a few hours, so I'm in the room instead of on the expensive hotel computer).
love to all!
xoxox
H
I feel a little like I'm visiting baby boot camp here! These amazing new parents are going from zero to sixty overnight! The parents who have done this before have a little advantage on the first-timers, but not as much as you'd think - parents and babies adjusting to each others' temperaments and personalities at a pretty advanced stage really ups the ante! We woke up this morning and headed down to breakfast and a whole lot of wide-eyed faces - parents and babies alike. Even though it had been less than 24 hours, most of the sentences began something like "She's kind of grumpy in the mornings," or "She's happiest in the mornings" - but I understand that feeling that you've been with this other human being forever, Rather than for as short of a time as it's been. This is one of those times that time truly becomes relative. (Speaking of human beings, that reminds me of my favorite recent conversation with Jordan. Somehow, we've been talking a lot lately about what it means to be a human being. And Jordan will sob in a melodramatic way "But I don't WANT to be human!" And I'll ask "Well, what do you want to be?" And she'll say "I just want to be Jordan." And she is - so very, very Jordan, and so very, very human.) Being around these families all the time makes my heart just ache and ache for mine - for hearing Sawyer's laugh and smelling his beautiful baby smell, for those wonderful, rich conversations with Jordan and the tighter than tight hugs she gives me, for watching their smiles with Tom and his smiles for them. I am beyond grateful for my family.
After breakfast, we headed back to the Office of Civil Affairs for the official signing of paperwork, giving of gifts, handing over of various fees. Every wooden bench in the waiting room was packed with American, Spanish and Dutch families. It was hot, babies were crying, and my body responded like any nursing mother's would - but don't get too hopeful Sawyer, we're shutting down the factory no matter what! We went from room to room, parents dropping off envelopes of money, signing forms with fingerprints, footprints, signatures, taking photos, answering questions (Do you love this baby? Will you take care of her always?), handing over wrapped gifts - piles and piles of beauty products, candies, jewelry - anything from the USA that didn't say "Made in China" - and let me tell you, shopping for these gifts was a challenge! It was stifling, babies were going past nap time, severely over-stimulated and totally befuddled by the mixture of languages, faces, emotions.But all for good. I have found myself asking as many questions as I can of people - where they are form, whether this is their first child, how old their baby is, etc. Today at the office there was a couple adopting their 4th baby - her cousin had adopted a baby from China two years ago and talked about meeting the baby her new daughter had shared a room with at the orphanage and how hard it was to understand why one had found a home and one hadn't - so they tracked down this roommate, and since the process takes about 18months to 2 years, they were just coming to bring her home now. The little girl was just four, Jordan's height and near her age, a beautiful girl and so sad and confused with the change - but her new parents were so overwhelmed with love, and hearing the story about how she came to be with them was so overwhelming, it was easy to imaging six months from now this girl happy and laughing with her siblings and her own Chinese-born cousin, in a home with parents who loved her.
We've been totally impressed with the care these babies seem to be receiving at the orpahanges - they are healthy and well fed, and clearly used to love and affection, tho also used to spending plenty of time alone. And it certainly isn't that there's a huge number of unwanted babies in this country - there are a lot of special circumstances, and that they take such wonde3rful care of them in the orphanages, and that they are willing to let foreigners adopt them out of country I think is testament to the love they have for them. What I've learned is that Mao, in the 40's encouraged families to procreate like crazy - strength in numbers - until a leading advisor finally got it through to the powers that followed that overpopulation would lead to the demise of the country rater than to it's strength, and the one child doctrine was added - actually, it's the third in a triumvirate of "rules" that aso includes late marriage and having children later in life with attached fines and what not. This is all well and good for city dwellers, 80% of whom live in apartments and for whom the lifestyle of doting on one child is perfectly agreeable - the children live close by and gender is much less of an issue - in fact, having a girl is very desirable for those parents wanting to raise a "princess."
In the rural areas, however, it's a different story: if you work the land, for instance, you need laborers as so much is still done by hand in the old tradition, without benefit of new machinery or technology. Also, when a woman is married, she follows her husband to where his family lives, and it is expected that the male children are responsible for the care of their parents in their old age - if you have a girl, you have no one to help you and certainly no retirement benefits or SS. So, in the country, if your first child is a girl, you are allowed to, after 4 years, try for a second child. No matter the gender, you stop after that second one. So, if the second child is also a girl, that is usually the instance that the child will be abandoned. It's no secret within a community that someone is pregnant - and the abandonment of children is an open secret - a neighbor will not turn in a neighbor for this indiscretion, lest the same fate befall them. And it's important to note that the children are abandoned with full intent that they will be put in orphanages and hopefully adopted -they are abandoned at hospitals, government buildings, restaurants, train stations, etc. There are incredible fines for having more than one child, for birthing before 4 years have passed, etc. It's a tough system. The rate of abandonment is dramatically decreasing as cultural values and practices are brought more up to date, as girls are valued more in rural areas, and elder care is being changed for the better. Domestic adoptions are rising dramatically as well, the later and later marrying age of women lending itself to adoption of healthy, available babies.
The middle floors of this hotel are offices for local businesses, the burgeoning Chinese middle class, and the elevators are crammed mid-day with bewildered looking parents pushing Chinese babies in strollers, and Chinese yuppies, guppies, and dinks yammering on cell phones or heading out in packs to lunch. This business center is always good for a desperate dad making rounds in the stroller, coming back to ask how many scoops of formula per ounce of water or "where in the bloody hell you put the wipes". Proud grandparents roam the hallways, and I have given a couple lessons on how to put on a baby Bjorn or get a child in a swing, or what to do for teething or constipation or whatever. I feel like an honorary aunt to 11 families, and proudest aunt to one gorgeous baby girl!
Speaking of the baby girl - Cerys/ZiLi is just about the most mellow baby around - plenty of poop explosions, bouts of vomiting and lots of spilling/spitting/messing - but the girl pretty much doesn't cry or fuss. I found a few tricks to make her laugh and I swear she sounds just like Sawyer when she does - like a new spring waterfall or the tinkle of glasses chiming "cheers' - just adorable, makes my heart melt. Her bowels are working just fine and she's got the runny nose that just seems to go along with being 101/2 months - every last one of these kids has it - and she's drinking plenty of formula but we haven't gotten her to eat too much. Other families are relying on Veronica, or amazing guide, to whip up some special infant's constipation relief tea, an dare walking the halls in that new parent daze, trying to get the tears to stop - I love that glassy, wide-eyed new parent stare - no matter how old the new -to-you baby is, the look in the eyes is always the same! Cerys has a definite old-soul look, always very serious and very serene, so when she laughs, it's a double treat - but she really and truly doesn't cry - Becky is lucky in that department! There are babies who have barely stopped crying, they're so out of sorts, and lots and lots in-between. I feel like I'm staying on a maternity ward from an episode of the Twilight Zone! Becky is taking to mothering like a fish to water, and Cerys has eyes only for her - she'll let me make her laugh and hold her when Becky is showering or taking care of paperwork or at a meeting, but otherwise, she wants her mama.
Ok, hopefully the two of them are fast asleep - tomorrow we visit the local Wal Mart (did I mention about the Twilight Zone?), so that should be a story in and of itself...
love to all!
H
After breakfast, we headed back to the Office of Civil Affairs for the official signing of paperwork, giving of gifts, handing over of various fees. Every wooden bench in the waiting room was packed with American, Spanish and Dutch families. It was hot, babies were crying, and my body responded like any nursing mother's would - but don't get too hopeful Sawyer, we're shutting down the factory no matter what! We went from room to room, parents dropping off envelopes of money, signing forms with fingerprints, footprints, signatures, taking photos, answering questions (Do you love this baby? Will you take care of her always?), handing over wrapped gifts - piles and piles of beauty products, candies, jewelry - anything from the USA that didn't say "Made in China" - and let me tell you, shopping for these gifts was a challenge! It was stifling, babies were going past nap time, severely over-stimulated and totally befuddled by the mixture of languages, faces, emotions.But all for good. I have found myself asking as many questions as I can of people - where they are form, whether this is their first child, how old their baby is, etc. Today at the office there was a couple adopting their 4th baby - her cousin had adopted a baby from China two years ago and talked about meeting the baby her new daughter had shared a room with at the orphanage and how hard it was to understand why one had found a home and one hadn't - so they tracked down this roommate, and since the process takes about 18months to 2 years, they were just coming to bring her home now. The little girl was just four, Jordan's height and near her age, a beautiful girl and so sad and confused with the change - but her new parents were so overwhelmed with love, and hearing the story about how she came to be with them was so overwhelming, it was easy to imaging six months from now this girl happy and laughing with her siblings and her own Chinese-born cousin, in a home with parents who loved her.
We've been totally impressed with the care these babies seem to be receiving at the orpahanges - they are healthy and well fed, and clearly used to love and affection, tho also used to spending plenty of time alone. And it certainly isn't that there's a huge number of unwanted babies in this country - there are a lot of special circumstances, and that they take such wonde3rful care of them in the orphanages, and that they are willing to let foreigners adopt them out of country I think is testament to the love they have for them. What I've learned is that Mao, in the 40's encouraged families to procreate like crazy - strength in numbers - until a leading advisor finally got it through to the powers that followed that overpopulation would lead to the demise of the country rater than to it's strength, and the one child doctrine was added - actually, it's the third in a triumvirate of "rules" that aso includes late marriage and having children later in life with attached fines and what not. This is all well and good for city dwellers, 80% of whom live in apartments and for whom the lifestyle of doting on one child is perfectly agreeable - the children live close by and gender is much less of an issue - in fact, having a girl is very desirable for those parents wanting to raise a "princess."
In the rural areas, however, it's a different story: if you work the land, for instance, you need laborers as so much is still done by hand in the old tradition, without benefit of new machinery or technology. Also, when a woman is married, she follows her husband to where his family lives, and it is expected that the male children are responsible for the care of their parents in their old age - if you have a girl, you have no one to help you and certainly no retirement benefits or SS. So, in the country, if your first child is a girl, you are allowed to, after 4 years, try for a second child. No matter the gender, you stop after that second one. So, if the second child is also a girl, that is usually the instance that the child will be abandoned. It's no secret within a community that someone is pregnant - and the abandonment of children is an open secret - a neighbor will not turn in a neighbor for this indiscretion, lest the same fate befall them. And it's important to note that the children are abandoned with full intent that they will be put in orphanages and hopefully adopted -they are abandoned at hospitals, government buildings, restaurants, train stations, etc. There are incredible fines for having more than one child, for birthing before 4 years have passed, etc. It's a tough system. The rate of abandonment is dramatically decreasing as cultural values and practices are brought more up to date, as girls are valued more in rural areas, and elder care is being changed for the better. Domestic adoptions are rising dramatically as well, the later and later marrying age of women lending itself to adoption of healthy, available babies.
The middle floors of this hotel are offices for local businesses, the burgeoning Chinese middle class, and the elevators are crammed mid-day with bewildered looking parents pushing Chinese babies in strollers, and Chinese yuppies, guppies, and dinks yammering on cell phones or heading out in packs to lunch. This business center is always good for a desperate dad making rounds in the stroller, coming back to ask how many scoops of formula per ounce of water or "where in the bloody hell you put the wipes". Proud grandparents roam the hallways, and I have given a couple lessons on how to put on a baby Bjorn or get a child in a swing, or what to do for teething or constipation or whatever. I feel like an honorary aunt to 11 families, and proudest aunt to one gorgeous baby girl!
Speaking of the baby girl - Cerys/ZiLi is just about the most mellow baby around - plenty of poop explosions, bouts of vomiting and lots of spilling/spitting/messing - but the girl pretty much doesn't cry or fuss. I found a few tricks to make her laugh and I swear she sounds just like Sawyer when she does - like a new spring waterfall or the tinkle of glasses chiming "cheers' - just adorable, makes my heart melt. Her bowels are working just fine and she's got the runny nose that just seems to go along with being 101/2 months - every last one of these kids has it - and she's drinking plenty of formula but we haven't gotten her to eat too much. Other families are relying on Veronica, or amazing guide, to whip up some special infant's constipation relief tea, an dare walking the halls in that new parent daze, trying to get the tears to stop - I love that glassy, wide-eyed new parent stare - no matter how old the new -to-you baby is, the look in the eyes is always the same! Cerys has a definite old-soul look, always very serious and very serene, so when she laughs, it's a double treat - but she really and truly doesn't cry - Becky is lucky in that department! There are babies who have barely stopped crying, they're so out of sorts, and lots and lots in-between. I feel like I'm staying on a maternity ward from an episode of the Twilight Zone! Becky is taking to mothering like a fish to water, and Cerys has eyes only for her - she'll let me make her laugh and hold her when Becky is showering or taking care of paperwork or at a meeting, but otherwise, she wants her mama.
Ok, hopefully the two of them are fast asleep - tomorrow we visit the local Wal Mart (did I mention about the Twilight Zone?), so that should be a story in and of itself...
love to all!
H
Monday, September 18, 2006
She's beautiful! And smart and charismatic and loving - just exactly what you'd expect a proud, proud aunt to say - all very true! What an amazing day. Unable to sleep past six, I headed to the hotel gym (two wimpy treadmills, an exercise bike, a rowing machine, and a few random weight machines). It's far too smoggy to run outside here, and there are no sidewalks to speak of (and the ones there are seem to double as emergency roads anyway), so it's the gym. It wasn't open at 6:30, so I investigated where the "tennis court" signs led on the 9th floor, and found a pristine court outside. I peered over the roof's edge and was amazed to see about 75 people ballroom dancing on the paved area outside the movie theatre building next door to our hotel. For a half an hour I watched these nicely dressed Chinese couples float around the plaza below me to music I could only occasionally hear faint traces of. On the far side of the plaza, an individual group of 8 or ten practiced fancier moves, and opposite them a woman was teaching a lone man what I swear was country western line dancing - and within ten minutes there were eighteen people who had migrated to her group. It was so amazing and beautiful to watch these people start their Monday off this way while on the 6 lane busy street next to them rush hour traffic began to build up and pepper the thin strrains of music with loud horn blasts. On the inner road/sidewalk, one older man practiced tai chi or chi qoung and a younger man stretched, older couples walked for their exercise and pushed an occasional stroller - it was so lovely to watch the city wake up this way, below me this lovely picture with women's skirts flaring out like tulip bells in different colors, the changing colors of the morning light, and the sounds of the music receeding gradullay in to thebusy din of traffic.
At 7:30 I went back in and found the gym just opened - a CHinese businessman came in at the same time as I did, dressed in nothing but a tight pair of swim shorts. I have to say that I really kicked his bootie on the treadmill! First off, it was an old, Italian-made treadmill that wouldn't go faster than it's reported 16 kph, and second, I have seen two Chinese people running for exercise in this country. Soon, two more friends joined the first, dressed the same, and they rode the bike at a light pace fdor five or ten minutes before doing calistehenics or weights. The gender difference has been interesting in this country - we have interacted with women so much more than men - they have been our servers and tour guides more often than the men, and in every interaction in hotels, restraunts, etc., have been so incredibly friendly and warm. There's no sense of chivalry at all; if anyhting, it's almost a photo negative of chivalry - so it was kind of fun to kick bootie on the treadmill.
Becky and I went down for breakfast and met up with others in our group - a sort of frenetic giddiness behind everyone's eyes. At 9:30 exactly we headed to the bus that took us on the 20 min drive to the governemtn offices where we picked up the babies. One of the tour books describes Changsha as a typical Chinese big city that is trying to concrete over it's beautiful history as quickly as possible, but there are some lovely parks and buildings peeking through - this is the home region of Chairman Mao, so there is some preservation certainly for his history. At the offices, we were shepherded upstairs into a nice waiting room, and within two minutes, our guide Veronica was reading babies' names off as they were brought in by thier CHinese nannies or orphanage staff and handed over in rapid succession to their waiting families - every reaction imaginable by the babies who range from 9.5-15 months - Zi Li's reaction was calm - she is a watchful girl with lovely big eyes, she grabbed on to Becky with an expression of "you're finally here! I've been waiting for you." I finally got to hold her when Becky went to a paperwork meeting at 3. When we got her back to the hotel room, she played on a bed with us, stopped with the identical expression to every infant I've ever known, a few grunts - and Becky was changing her new baby's first diaper! Often the babies won't eat or drink and all those functions stop, but Zi Li/Cerys hasn't had any issues! She's a little thing, healthy and long and lean, no tears to speak of, and she fell asleep on Becky's chest at nap time after a full bottle of formula. No bonding issues there!
What an incredible experience to wtch these families suddenly grow, and then to witness as Becky does those things that every first motherdoes - feed and clothe and bathe and cuddle their baby for the first time - and she is a natural as we all are - maybe a bit nervous tho something in us is telling us just what to do.
All we did with our day was play with her, make her bottles, etc. And during nap time when I wanted to give them tme alone, I generously went back to the Health Spa and tried the "Toes Massage" which was a $7 hour-long foot massage - with a backrub thrown in during the initial herbal soak. Very big of me. Did I mention that ILOVE China?
There is a play room on the 30th floor with tons of toy sfor the babes, and it's lovely to hang out with the International club of new parents and their lovely babies. It's so fun to think of these babies, months from now, speaking Italian or Spanish or French or Swedish. The language of love of a parent for a child is so totally universal, tho, and definitely what is spoken here. As we arrived at teh Civil Affairs Office, a group of new families was just leaving, and as we left, andother group was arriving. It is staggering to think of the number of babies that are finding new homes each day,a nd more staggering to think that it is a fraction of what is needed - multiply that times the number of countries in the world with parentless children, and it is enough to make your mind and heart go numb with shock. There are 200 agencies supporting Chinese adoption - and I think that might be just in the US.
So tomorrow it's official paperwork day, and giving of gifts day, and in the afternoon we visit a local kindergarten, adn the day after that we have an optional trip to Wal Mart, which feels just the tinies bit ironic - and I think that might be the correct use of that word.
Our extended family got bigger today by one - and our extended extended family - theconnection of all these Chinese babies finding homes away from CHina - got a whole lot biiger than that - my heart feels swelled up with it all.
Becky is a wonderful mom already, I am so excited for both of them, for the family they are now. We have met single parent families from lots of places, including Spain, on this trip - I think it is a wonderful affirmation for all of them to hear about yet another strong individual making the leap into parenthood - pretty humbling and awesome!
Welcome, Cerys Zi Li!
At 7:30 I went back in and found the gym just opened - a CHinese businessman came in at the same time as I did, dressed in nothing but a tight pair of swim shorts. I have to say that I really kicked his bootie on the treadmill! First off, it was an old, Italian-made treadmill that wouldn't go faster than it's reported 16 kph, and second, I have seen two Chinese people running for exercise in this country. Soon, two more friends joined the first, dressed the same, and they rode the bike at a light pace fdor five or ten minutes before doing calistehenics or weights. The gender difference has been interesting in this country - we have interacted with women so much more than men - they have been our servers and tour guides more often than the men, and in every interaction in hotels, restraunts, etc., have been so incredibly friendly and warm. There's no sense of chivalry at all; if anyhting, it's almost a photo negative of chivalry - so it was kind of fun to kick bootie on the treadmill.
Becky and I went down for breakfast and met up with others in our group - a sort of frenetic giddiness behind everyone's eyes. At 9:30 exactly we headed to the bus that took us on the 20 min drive to the governemtn offices where we picked up the babies. One of the tour books describes Changsha as a typical Chinese big city that is trying to concrete over it's beautiful history as quickly as possible, but there are some lovely parks and buildings peeking through - this is the home region of Chairman Mao, so there is some preservation certainly for his history. At the offices, we were shepherded upstairs into a nice waiting room, and within two minutes, our guide Veronica was reading babies' names off as they were brought in by thier CHinese nannies or orphanage staff and handed over in rapid succession to their waiting families - every reaction imaginable by the babies who range from 9.5-15 months - Zi Li's reaction was calm - she is a watchful girl with lovely big eyes, she grabbed on to Becky with an expression of "you're finally here! I've been waiting for you." I finally got to hold her when Becky went to a paperwork meeting at 3. When we got her back to the hotel room, she played on a bed with us, stopped with the identical expression to every infant I've ever known, a few grunts - and Becky was changing her new baby's first diaper! Often the babies won't eat or drink and all those functions stop, but Zi Li/Cerys hasn't had any issues! She's a little thing, healthy and long and lean, no tears to speak of, and she fell asleep on Becky's chest at nap time after a full bottle of formula. No bonding issues there!
What an incredible experience to wtch these families suddenly grow, and then to witness as Becky does those things that every first motherdoes - feed and clothe and bathe and cuddle their baby for the first time - and she is a natural as we all are - maybe a bit nervous tho something in us is telling us just what to do.
All we did with our day was play with her, make her bottles, etc. And during nap time when I wanted to give them tme alone, I generously went back to the Health Spa and tried the "Toes Massage" which was a $7 hour-long foot massage - with a backrub thrown in during the initial herbal soak. Very big of me. Did I mention that ILOVE China?
There is a play room on the 30th floor with tons of toy sfor the babes, and it's lovely to hang out with the International club of new parents and their lovely babies. It's so fun to think of these babies, months from now, speaking Italian or Spanish or French or Swedish. The language of love of a parent for a child is so totally universal, tho, and definitely what is spoken here. As we arrived at teh Civil Affairs Office, a group of new families was just leaving, and as we left, andother group was arriving. It is staggering to think of the number of babies that are finding new homes each day,a nd more staggering to think that it is a fraction of what is needed - multiply that times the number of countries in the world with parentless children, and it is enough to make your mind and heart go numb with shock. There are 200 agencies supporting Chinese adoption - and I think that might be just in the US.
So tomorrow it's official paperwork day, and giving of gifts day, and in the afternoon we visit a local kindergarten, adn the day after that we have an optional trip to Wal Mart, which feels just the tinies bit ironic - and I think that might be the correct use of that word.
Our extended family got bigger today by one - and our extended extended family - theconnection of all these Chinese babies finding homes away from CHina - got a whole lot biiger than that - my heart feels swelled up with it all.
Becky is a wonderful mom already, I am so excited for both of them, for the family they are now. We have met single parent families from lots of places, including Spain, on this trip - I think it is a wonderful affirmation for all of them to hear about yet another strong individual making the leap into parenthood - pretty humbling and awesome!
Welcome, Cerys Zi Li!
So we're sitting in the Business Lounge of our hotel in CHangsha, Hunan Province and on the computer across from us (just 2 in the room) is a lovely family from Spain and their new daughter, Sarah, who is 13 months and lovely. I've had so much fun speaking Spanish with various families in hteir group, feeling a little giddy from understanding and speaking another language after butchering CHinese so terribly - tho I think I have thank you and hello down so that they're understandable... The language sounds more like a language now, but the characters just look like art and it's difficult to imagine looking at them and knowing which direction I'm supposed to go down a road or what to order at a restaraunt. Hunan Province is known for it's spicy food (we grew up going to the House of Hunan, fond memories!), so communication is imperative. We had a lovely dinner tonight that brought tears to everyone's eyes - and I'm not sure they would have considered it at all spicy! The babies from this region are called "Spicy Girls" and it's believed that the cooking lends to their intelligence - pretty cool!
We had an early start this morning, and an uneventful 21/2 hr flight (one piece of luggage lost, but our guide is so amazing she cleared it up immediately). We are stunned at every turn by the kindness and warmth of the CHinese people, it sure made flying a lovely experience after dealing with some fairly disgruntled American-carrier staff! Our new hotel is quite fancy and even sports a small bowling alley! Becky and I indulged in a masage this afternoon, called an "Herbal Massage" but as it was clothed and no herbs were readily apparent, we can't figure out the distinction - it really didn't seem like the women who administered to us were stoned or anything.... It was $12 for 75 mins so I think we'll be returning! (This little baby has a laugh like Sawyer's, it's bringing tears of joy and longing to my eyes right now). Internet is a different price - at the smoky place in Beijing it was 4 yuan (about .50 c)for an hour, here at this hotel it's 1 yuan/minute!
It's been so fascinating hearing all these families' stories, and surprising how many couples are going in for adoption as they near retirement and their kids are heading off to college! There are plenty of new parents as well, and of course the heartbreaking stories of miscarriages and infertility. Again and again I think that becoming a parent has everything to do with love and how the baby comes to oyu is a miracle no matter how it happens.
I think this family is waiting for my computer with the web cam to show off Sara to everyone back home, so I'll sign off - with plenty to write tomorrow when Becky becomes a mom.
All my love to everyone,a dn thanks to all who wrote with news on my family who I miss more than I ever thought possible and who I love for letting me do this.
We had an early start this morning, and an uneventful 21/2 hr flight (one piece of luggage lost, but our guide is so amazing she cleared it up immediately). We are stunned at every turn by the kindness and warmth of the CHinese people, it sure made flying a lovely experience after dealing with some fairly disgruntled American-carrier staff! Our new hotel is quite fancy and even sports a small bowling alley! Becky and I indulged in a masage this afternoon, called an "Herbal Massage" but as it was clothed and no herbs were readily apparent, we can't figure out the distinction - it really didn't seem like the women who administered to us were stoned or anything.... It was $12 for 75 mins so I think we'll be returning! (This little baby has a laugh like Sawyer's, it's bringing tears of joy and longing to my eyes right now). Internet is a different price - at the smoky place in Beijing it was 4 yuan (about .50 c)for an hour, here at this hotel it's 1 yuan/minute!
It's been so fascinating hearing all these families' stories, and surprising how many couples are going in for adoption as they near retirement and their kids are heading off to college! There are plenty of new parents as well, and of course the heartbreaking stories of miscarriages and infertility. Again and again I think that becoming a parent has everything to do with love and how the baby comes to oyu is a miracle no matter how it happens.
I think this family is waiting for my computer with the web cam to show off Sara to everyone back home, so I'll sign off - with plenty to write tomorrow when Becky becomes a mom.
All my love to everyone,a dn thanks to all who wrote with news on my family who I miss more than I ever thought possible and who I love for letting me do this.
So, today I hiked up The Great Wall of China. Pretty good way to start off an e-mail, eh? It was truly amazing, my favorite thing so far. This incredible hand-built wall/walkway/staircase following the spine of the mountains, with views that were mindblowing even with the haze that is ever-present here. That there's 6000 miles of the wall left is staggering, and thinking that each and every stone was carried and laid by hand was staggering. ALso lovely to be there with this incredible melting pot of people, all encouraging one another, laughing with one another, staring in awe with one another. Germans and Chinese seemed to lead the charge, either becasue of fitness or sheer willpower. Americans were least present at the very top, but I met some nice Irish and Argentinian guys, and some great CHinese kids that made it all the way up.
We went also to Tiannamen Square which was powerful because of the history of CHina that is embedded there, especially modern China with Mao and what he meant both positive and negative. What truly made it powerful was the reality tha tthis is the history of Becky's child, of my niece, and being there and learningit, seeing it, is bearing witness to and taking in part of her history that we'll gift to her again as she grows older. The forbidden city was staggering as well i size, scope, and beauty. About a half mile long, we walked, sstopped, listened, learned for hours and hours there. The street beggars. especially those with children, were heart rending as they are anywhere, but more so because our group was filled with people wanting so badly to have their new babies in their arms.
So far we've loved the food and the people and everything except the driving and the smog. We leave at 6 am for teh airport and our flight to HUnan province, the city of CHangsha. Monday morning we'll have babes in arms. There aren't enough tissues. The breadth of experience in parenting and life is wild, but everyone is the same in their anticipation of receiving hteir child. I am so humbled and so honored to be here for this experience, and it certainy makes touring this country so different, so much more powerful than I think it might have been - and it would have been staggering just as a tourist!
OK, love to all, can't wait to fill you in on these next few days.
We went also to Tiannamen Square which was powerful because of the history of CHina that is embedded there, especially modern China with Mao and what he meant both positive and negative. What truly made it powerful was the reality tha tthis is the history of Becky's child, of my niece, and being there and learningit, seeing it, is bearing witness to and taking in part of her history that we'll gift to her again as she grows older. The forbidden city was staggering as well i size, scope, and beauty. About a half mile long, we walked, sstopped, listened, learned for hours and hours there. The street beggars. especially those with children, were heart rending as they are anywhere, but more so because our group was filled with people wanting so badly to have their new babies in their arms.
So far we've loved the food and the people and everything except the driving and the smog. We leave at 6 am for teh airport and our flight to HUnan province, the city of CHangsha. Monday morning we'll have babes in arms. There aren't enough tissues. The breadth of experience in parenting and life is wild, but everyone is the same in their anticipation of receiving hteir child. I am so humbled and so honored to be here for this experience, and it certainy makes touring this country so different, so much more powerful than I think it might have been - and it would have been staggering just as a tourist!
OK, love to all, can't wait to fill you in on these next few days.
Becky and I are back from a full day of sightseeing and hitting the internet cafe before hading out to see an acrobat show tonight - busy schedule and it's wonderful!
So, to try and give you a taste of where we are and where we've been: currently, we're gasping for air in a 20 by 25 smoke-filled room of computers packed in tight rows, each one being used for video games of one kind or another. We're definitely the only Americans here, and likely the some of the only ones they'll have in here today, given the fact that nothing is in English! We're brave troupers, however, and something silly like language isn't going to get in the way of us communicating! So last night we propped our eyes open with toothpicks and headed for hte hotel bar for our "free beverage" which was a lovely little 3 oz glass of beer (it's celebrate German beer month in the hotel bar, so very cosmopolitan). We ordered a few little dishes and were both asleep by 9:15, I think! My eyes flew open at 4 am and tho I tried desperately to go back to sleep for the next two hours, seven hours of sleep is apparently all I need these days. Our hotel room is lovely, we're on the 14th floor and apparently missed some street protest happening last night - a bunch of people lying in the main road. Our guide says perhaps it was a protest againt the government's reclamation of their homes - they are compensated but not given the option to keep thier homes. Or it could have been something else - who knows - it certainly isn't reported on the news. Our mattresses are super hard but incredibly comfortable, the people at the hotel very nice. The breakfast buffet was kind of hilarious - real chinese chinese food, american chinese food like fried rice, sushi, bacon, sausage, fruit, croissants, tomato-mozzarella salad, porridge, cereal, pasta salad, potato salad, smoked fish - you name it, they had it. Multi-cultural to a manic degree.
We met the rest of today's tour group - five other "families" here for adoptions, and went to the Summer Palace, the Panda House at the zoo, and the Temple of Heaven. It's a lovely, eclectic group of people here - a few first-timer parents, a beautiful little 4 year old girl who was adopted by her single physician mom two years ago and is back for a new sister with mom, grandma, and grandma's best friend in tow, a couple whose two children are 16 and 19 and are ready for round two, a couple who have a 5 year old, a couple who have a three year old and a six year old. And they are from everywhere - TX, AZ, FL, IL, MA, etc. Dctors, police men, retired military, and some we haven't discovered. Personalities so far are lovely, and no-one yet demonstrating that they're the overly dramatic or intolerant types. Becky and I did enjoy watching everyone select the super-expensive French import water at the grocery store while we penny-pinched on the CHinese brands - we all seemed fine this morning. More families arrived today and tomorrow we'll tour the Great Wall, The Forbidden City and Tiannaman Square. Today was a really nice start, we had a lovely guide who spoke good English and travelled in a nice bus. The Summer Palace was our first stop and it was beautiful. Interesting to learn the mythology and meaning behind some of hte most famous CHinese symbols. A highlight of the day was when a group of CHinese tourists rushed our group, cameras drawn, to get their pictures taken with the Americans - happened a few times during the day to lesser degrees. I have such appreciation for being a minority and think it's good to have this experience to know a bit how the Chinese children will feel in the less ethnically diverse communities.
Lunch was at a touristy place, but as a tourist, well-appreciated - some dances during our meal, and a nice selection of food. We were taken to a government pearl store where we were nearly physically assaulted and certainly stalked by the staff in an attempt to get us to buy their jewels - successful with over half the gorup, but we stood our ground, waiting to get to our final destination. The Pandas were interesting at the zoo - in a lazy, siesta-time kind of way. It would certainly be amazing to be in the wilds of the Szechuan province and happen upon one accidentally... Hope they're able to keep them safe.
Beijing is amazingly huge, adn the amount of development is astounding - cranes like big storks standing sentinel around the city. I've never imagined so many cranes existed in the world, much less in one place. At one work site I was amused to see the typical road crew of one guy working while five more leaned on their shovels - better hurry up for the 2008 Olympics! One of our guides said the young generation in Beijing have a new name: Apartment Slaves as they spend such a high portion of their wages on purchasing a place to live that will only technically be thiers for 70 years before it must be re-bought through the government. Cars and bicycles crowd the roads and it amazes me here, as it did in Central America, that everyone (especially pedestrians) survive unscathed.
We haven't seen clear sky - the sun is a red ball beneath layers of pollution from the cars and the dust kicked up by the construction, but the colors of the people and the buildings are just as vivid. One more day of sightseeing and SUnday we fly to the Hunan province and from that afternoon on, Cerys is with us! Of course we are all drawn to each and every child like moths to flame - the joy everyone seems to take in their children is really endearing. We saw a little boy not much older than Sawyer running around in a pair of overalls slit from back to front to expose his most private of parts to the world - hilarious. ANd rather convenient for the pit toilets that are everywhere. Tom, you'd never stop laughing.
Ok, gotta log off as we're running out of time. Love to everyone. Miss you all,
So, to try and give you a taste of where we are and where we've been: currently, we're gasping for air in a 20 by 25 smoke-filled room of computers packed in tight rows, each one being used for video games of one kind or another. We're definitely the only Americans here, and likely the some of the only ones they'll have in here today, given the fact that nothing is in English! We're brave troupers, however, and something silly like language isn't going to get in the way of us communicating! So last night we propped our eyes open with toothpicks and headed for hte hotel bar for our "free beverage" which was a lovely little 3 oz glass of beer (it's celebrate German beer month in the hotel bar, so very cosmopolitan). We ordered a few little dishes and were both asleep by 9:15, I think! My eyes flew open at 4 am and tho I tried desperately to go back to sleep for the next two hours, seven hours of sleep is apparently all I need these days. Our hotel room is lovely, we're on the 14th floor and apparently missed some street protest happening last night - a bunch of people lying in the main road. Our guide says perhaps it was a protest againt the government's reclamation of their homes - they are compensated but not given the option to keep thier homes. Or it could have been something else - who knows - it certainly isn't reported on the news. Our mattresses are super hard but incredibly comfortable, the people at the hotel very nice. The breakfast buffet was kind of hilarious - real chinese chinese food, american chinese food like fried rice, sushi, bacon, sausage, fruit, croissants, tomato-mozzarella salad, porridge, cereal, pasta salad, potato salad, smoked fish - you name it, they had it. Multi-cultural to a manic degree.
We met the rest of today's tour group - five other "families" here for adoptions, and went to the Summer Palace, the Panda House at the zoo, and the Temple of Heaven. It's a lovely, eclectic group of people here - a few first-timer parents, a beautiful little 4 year old girl who was adopted by her single physician mom two years ago and is back for a new sister with mom, grandma, and grandma's best friend in tow, a couple whose two children are 16 and 19 and are ready for round two, a couple who have a 5 year old, a couple who have a three year old and a six year old. And they are from everywhere - TX, AZ, FL, IL, MA, etc. Dctors, police men, retired military, and some we haven't discovered. Personalities so far are lovely, and no-one yet demonstrating that they're the overly dramatic or intolerant types. Becky and I did enjoy watching everyone select the super-expensive French import water at the grocery store while we penny-pinched on the CHinese brands - we all seemed fine this morning. More families arrived today and tomorrow we'll tour the Great Wall, The Forbidden City and Tiannaman Square. Today was a really nice start, we had a lovely guide who spoke good English and travelled in a nice bus. The Summer Palace was our first stop and it was beautiful. Interesting to learn the mythology and meaning behind some of hte most famous CHinese symbols. A highlight of the day was when a group of CHinese tourists rushed our group, cameras drawn, to get their pictures taken with the Americans - happened a few times during the day to lesser degrees. I have such appreciation for being a minority and think it's good to have this experience to know a bit how the Chinese children will feel in the less ethnically diverse communities.
Lunch was at a touristy place, but as a tourist, well-appreciated - some dances during our meal, and a nice selection of food. We were taken to a government pearl store where we were nearly physically assaulted and certainly stalked by the staff in an attempt to get us to buy their jewels - successful with over half the gorup, but we stood our ground, waiting to get to our final destination. The Pandas were interesting at the zoo - in a lazy, siesta-time kind of way. It would certainly be amazing to be in the wilds of the Szechuan province and happen upon one accidentally... Hope they're able to keep them safe.
Beijing is amazingly huge, adn the amount of development is astounding - cranes like big storks standing sentinel around the city. I've never imagined so many cranes existed in the world, much less in one place. At one work site I was amused to see the typical road crew of one guy working while five more leaned on their shovels - better hurry up for the 2008 Olympics! One of our guides said the young generation in Beijing have a new name: Apartment Slaves as they spend such a high portion of their wages on purchasing a place to live that will only technically be thiers for 70 years before it must be re-bought through the government. Cars and bicycles crowd the roads and it amazes me here, as it did in Central America, that everyone (especially pedestrians) survive unscathed.
We haven't seen clear sky - the sun is a red ball beneath layers of pollution from the cars and the dust kicked up by the construction, but the colors of the people and the buildings are just as vivid. One more day of sightseeing and SUnday we fly to the Hunan province and from that afternoon on, Cerys is with us! Of course we are all drawn to each and every child like moths to flame - the joy everyone seems to take in their children is really endearing. We saw a little boy not much older than Sawyer running around in a pair of overalls slit from back to front to expose his most private of parts to the world - hilarious. ANd rather convenient for the pit toilets that are everywhere. Tom, you'd never stop laughing.
Ok, gotta log off as we're running out of time. Love to everyone. Miss you all,
Hi eveyone - sitting in an internet cafe in Beijing in an underground mall near our hotel - everything went fine with the day of travel and we hopped out to get some water and food before heading to bed for the night. Everything's gone so smoothly so far, and we've met a few other families adopting babies.
Leaving my family behind at school this morning was the hardest thing I've ever done! Right now, everyone should be fast asleep. It's a 15 hour time difference, we're about to go to bed on Thursday night and the rest of you will wake up Thursday morning!
We have a day of sightseeing tomorrow and I'll try to return to this internet cafe tomorrow night, so send me any news and updates you can!
Leaving my family behind at school this morning was the hardest thing I've ever done! Right now, everyone should be fast asleep. It's a 15 hour time difference, we're about to go to bed on Thursday night and the rest of you will wake up Thursday morning!
We have a day of sightseeing tomorrow and I'll try to return to this internet cafe tomorrow night, so send me any news and updates you can!
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